caught in a kakfa-like hell

so, every new state employee working hazardous duty are offered a certain blood test to measure the strength of your body's immunity to hepatitis b. i know i had all my shots, but i figured there was no harm in just checking to make sure i was fully immune. the state of connecticut pays for the test, i get reassured that i'm fully immune, this is a win-win. so i went to the middlesex hospital outpatient center, along with about 23 other new employees, and had blood drawn for this test. July 2, 2007. i then promptly forgot about the whole thing.

august 2, 2007, i got the first bill.
what? quest diagnostics was billing *me* for $84.42 for the test. that's when i realized that i hadn't actually received the results of the damn test. so i call up my HR lady and explained the situation. she made a few phone calls, and a few days later i get the results in my mailbox. so i figure, ok, everything is settled.

september 1, 2007
"IMPORTANT NOTICE: SECOND NOTICE -- PLEASE SEND YOUR CHECK TODAY FOR THE BALANCE SHOWN ON THIS STATEMENT."
Wait a minute, that situation was all fixed. i got the results, my hr lady called quest to change the billing. ...right? well, i call up quest diagnostics -- yeah, you billed me but you shouldn't, here is the number of my human resources lady, she will tell you for certain that i shouldn't be getting the bill. "ok, i'm fixing it on the computer right now, yes it's officially fixed, you're all set."

november 20, 2007
"IMPORTANT NOTICE:
We have billed insurance but have received no response for the claim. Quest diagnostics must now look to you for payment."
But . . . it was fixed. i heard nothing in october.
i call up quest again, and i'm starting to get nervous and flustered. quest diagnostic is now trying to tell me that the "orders" for the test identified *me* as the person to bill, so i needed to call the people who ordered the test. so i call middlesex hospital outpatient center, explain the situation, and the receptionist apologized, she'll take care of that right away. i call up quest to confirm, but get a different person on the line, who can't seem to understand the concept of billing the state of connecticut, he keeps asking me, "so, who do you say is responsible for this bill?" i'm exhausted. "look, i was hired as an employee of the State of Connecticut, by the Department of Children and Families, as a children's services worker at the Riverview Psychiatric Hospital for Children and Youth. Bill the state, bill dcf, bill riverview hospital. if i give you my hr lady's name, you can bill her personally, if you need a name. just not my name. this is not my account, not my debt, not my responsibility."

december 20, 2007
"IMPORTANT NOTICE:
SECOND NOTICE -- PLEASE SEND YOUR CHECK TODAY."
I just don't even know what t do anymore. i call middlesex hospital again, almost in tears. the lady said that the file had been closed out -- the last note made in it was that a telephone call had been made to quest diagnostics in late november. so i call quest again. this particular customer service rep just doesn't seem to understand the concept of billing the state of connecticut, he keeps asking me, "so, who do you say is responsible for this bill?" i'm exhausted. "look, i was hired as an employee of the State of Connecticut, by the Department of Children and Families, as a children's services worker at the Riverview Psychiatric Hospital for Children and Youth. Bill the state, bill dcf, bill riverview hospital. if i give you my hr lady's name, you can bill her personally, if you need a name. just not my name. this is not my account, not my debt, not my responsibility."

january 19, 2008
THIRD NOTICE
*****THIRD NOTICE*****
THIS IS ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO PAY THIS BILL BEFORE COLLECTION ACTION IS NECESSARY.
PLEASE SEND YOUR CHECK TODAY.
...oh my god, am i in wonderland? didn't this all get FIXED?!?!? ...this is when i start to think about conspiracy theories, kafka hells. i call up the middlesex hospital outpatient center again. "you didn't change it! you didn't call them! you don't understand, this situation is really stressing me out, i feel like crying right now, i just don't know what to do." she tells me to call quest. quest tells me to call my insurance company, see if that would cover it. i leave a message with someone at anthem, and then forget about it, never get called back.

february 25, 2008
THIRD NOTICE -- PLEASE SEND YOUR CHECK TODAY FOR THE BALANCE SHOWN ON THIS STATEMENT OR CALL OUR CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPARTMENT.
i'm starting to think that there is some nasty evil stuff coming at me. a week before i got this one in the mail, i got a call from my credit card company, telling me that someone had stolen my credit card and taken it to italy, and charged over 5,000 bucks. THAT was a scary moment. then i get this notice from quest. i'm starting to get worried. how long before they start chopping off my fingers?

So, i'm making the phone calls tomorrow. calling quest, middlesex hospital, anthem, my hr lady, all of them. i wanna get them all on a conference call. because this whole situation is stressing me out to an unhealthy degree. i actually feel sick about it.

...wish me luck