Almost too awful to be true

So, i'll just jump right into this one, ok?
I'm driving home from church yesterday morning, and a cop pulled me over. First time I've ever been pulled over, so I'm freaking out. I'm not speeding or anything, so I have no idea what's going on. Here's a little re-cap of our conversation through my window:

Cop lady: "Miss, this vehicle is not registered."
Innocent didn't-do-anything-wrong-Me: "Excuse me? There must be some mistake, I just bought this car in November '05, here's my registration."
Cop lady: "Well, that registration expired in January '06."
Me: [astounded silence, mouth hanging open.]
Cop lady: "I can't let you drive this car home, it's illegal to be on the road. You'll have to park it here until you renew the registration. Otherwise your car will be impounded."
Me: [continued, astounded silence.]
Cop lady: "You didn't get any new stickers or anything from the DMV in the mail?"
Me: ".........no......."
Cop lady: "OK, you need to call someone to come pick you up now, and leave your car in this parking lot. I'll wait."

So, I called my mom, who is very sick by the way, and she drove 30 minutes from her home to pick me up. I'm currently paying for a rental car for her, and driving around her crappy Subaru. I got home and started rifling through old mail crap, and I found a letter I got last January from the DMV. It does NOT say that my registration has expired, instead, it says that I need to get my emissions tested before they send my new registration tags.

So, why, do you think, didn't I go get my emission tested when i got that letter last january? Well, at the bottom of that letter is all the info about my car, and in that section there' a box that says "expiration date: 1/28/08" -- so, I figured I had until 2008 to get it done! I had thought to myself, "oh look, I just got this car and the DMV sent me a thing telling me i had two years to get my emissions tested. that's nice." But no, my dad says that the "expiration date" i'm looking at is acutally when the new registration (which I don't have) will expire.

So now, we're in a catch-22. Three facts about this situation:
1. I can't drive my car until it is registered.
2. I can't register my car until I get my emissions tested.
3. I can't get my emissions tested by simply wishing my car into an emissions testing facility. it needs to be driven there. CRAP!!!!!

Knowing me and my awful luck, the second i so much as turn my key in the ignition to drive the car to get the emissions tested to get it registered, a cop will be right there, my car will be impounded, I'll get upset and end up getting arrested or thrown into a loony bin, I'll miss work and get fired, I'll miss school and flunk out, and I'll end up a miserable, homeless bum on the streets for the rest of my life, forever ranting and raving insanely about emissions and registration.

On a serious note, this really is the worst thing that could happen right now. This is my last week of classes in the toughest semester I've ever had, so I have a million papers due, finals to study for, reseach to do ..... having this on my plate is really stressing me out in a bad way. There's no Jackpot here this time, sorry.